


Love Is Gone

by yrrosoban



Category: We Go Up - NCT Dream (Music Video)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Best Friends, Inspired by Music, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27835507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yrrosoban/pseuds/yrrosoban
Summary: What if oneday you wake up feeling empty? What if you suddenly forget how to love a person even after loving him for 5yrs?What if it's because you found your soulmate?A soulmate who isn't your boyfriend.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Love Is Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is something I suddenly came up with after listening to "Love is gone" by SLANDER.
> 
> It just hit me suddenly, how helpless a person becomes when the love he had for years was suddenly taken away from him.
> 
> It made me think to cherish the present & the people who showers us with love now. It's present what it matters.
> 
> Also check the end note for a bit details about the soulmates later.

**6 in the morning**

Jaemin's eyes fluttered opened out of habit. He had always been the early bird, whereas Jeno was never a morning person. Speaking of Jeno, Jaemin noticed Jeno still had his arms around Jaemin's small waist, holding the younger boy close even when he was sleeping so soundly. Jaemin could feel the slow rise & fall of Jeno's chest on his back, as the older boy held Jaemin close to him.

Jaemin suddenly felt a pang of guilt hitting him. Jeno was still here with him, Jeno stayed even though Jaemin asked him not to anymore. 

It was wrong.  
It was wrong when the love they felt once, was....gone now.

  
He tried to remove Jeno's hand, but in vain. The hold around his waist only tightened more. A soft sigh escaped through Jaemin's chapped lips as felt himself pulled against Jeno's sturdy chest.

Lee Jeno. Jaemin's best friend since high school, His first love, first kiss. Lee Jeno was Jaemin's first in almost everything.

"I love you"

Jaemin felt the burden in his heart doubled hearing the three little words. Once there was a time, when Jaemin's face would light up like a Christmas tree, hearing these words from Jeno. In the past 5yrs of their relationship, Jeno had never failed to the greet Jaemin in the morning with "i love you" instead of simple good morning or hello. & Jaemin used to reply this, with a soft kiss square on the older's lips & a soft "love you too dummy".

But this particular morning, Jaemin only replied with a sigh. A sigh representing he was tired, he was done with replying Jeno with love you too & morning kisses.

"Can you remove your hands? I need to get up." Jaemin's voice was cold.

Silence.

  
Jaemin could hear the clock ticking away. But Jeno's grip around him didn't even loosened a bit.

"Jeno..."

"Please... A few more minutes.... Just...please let me hold you for...." Jeno's voice broke, "for one last time...please Nana..."

Jaemin's heart clenched at Jeno's broken whisper. This wasn't how he thought their life would be. They were supposed to be together until the very end, until both of their skins would become saggy, wrinkles would appear on the corner of their eyes, hairs would turn to different shades of grey. They were supposed to be together, loving eachother, fulfilling all the promises they made together, living all the dreams they saw together.

But here they were, lying on the bed on the verge of crying. A bed that held their most innocent moments to their most intimate moments. A bed that was the witness of their every dreams & promises to love each other till the end. The bed today, was the witness of them being separated, the witness of them breaking their own promises.

A few minutes turned into an hour, but Jeno was still holding onto him. Chest still pressed against Jaemin's back, face hidden on the crook of younger's neck, hands holding the other as if Jaemin's gonna evaporate if Jeno let him go now.

Jaemin knew it. He knew Jeno like the back of his hand. He knew Jeno was afraid. He knew Jeno was broken just as Jaemin. But who were they to deny the fate? Who were they to defy their soulmates?

It was invitable. They were bound to fall in love with their soulmates as soon as they meet eachother. It was just like love on first sight. No matter how much someone tried to ignore the growing feeling for their soulmates, it was inevitable for them. Their fate was sealed. Just like Jaemin's fate was sealed.

Jaemin loved his soulmate. He loved the other part of his heart more than anything. & For him, Jaemin needed to let go if his past. Let go of Jeno.

So, with a solidified resolution, he broke out from Jeno's tight hold, leaving the older male on the bed alone. He could hear the soft sniffs coming from Jeno, but Jaemin tried to ignore those soft cries, placing a stone over his heart.  
  
  


"Are you going to meet with him?"

Jaemin ignored the sadness lacing his boyfriend's every words as he hummed in confirmation. He was almost ready. He wore his favorite soft pink dress shirt & a pair of ripped black jeans; Jeno's favorite outfit of Jaemin's. Jaemin neatly tucked the front of his shirt inside the jeans, while let the back loose. He noticed how Jeno's eyes lingered on him while he was getting ready to meet someone else, wearing something that Jeno liked. Jaemin was sorry, sorry that he was hurting Jeno, but he needed it: he needed courage & confidence for what he was about to do today.

Let go of Jeno, & start anew.  
  


He folded his sleeves upto his elbow before fixing his hairs for one last time.  
Jaemin was ready to meet "him". He was ready to accept the fate today. 

It came as a shock when Jeno suddenly offered to drive him to the cafe. He didn't thought Jeno would want to. But then again, when did Jeno let Jaemin leave the house alone when he was with the younger. It was like a tradition of their. Even when they were just best friends, Jeno used to go with him everywhere, not leaving Jaeminto walk or drive alone when Jeno was near him. It started with Jeno being protective over his best friend, then ended up with Jeno being protective over his boyfriend. It was funny, how they went back being "just best friends" again, how Jeno was gonna drive his "best friend" to a cafe today.

Jaemin didn't get to say anything in reply as Jeno hurriedly left the room grabbing a pair of fresh jeans & a t-shirt to get ready.

Jaemin took time to look around his room while he waited for Jeno. It hit him like a truck, seeing his whole room was filled with his & Jeno's memories. Every inch of his room reminded him about Jeno & the love they shared all these years. He felt happy, knowing even if they were apart they were gonna have their memories to soothe their heart. Jaemin hoped oneday these memories would make them smile instead of making them feel pain & guilts like now.

Jaemin wondered if it was possible to forget the last five years memories by making new ones only as friends. He wondered if Jeno could do it.  
  


"I am gonna wait...until you come back"

Jaemin looked at his boyfriend with saddened eyes. Jeno was making it difficult for both of them. But Jaemin couldn't blame the older boy. The situation they were in.... It was none of their fault. But Jaemin needed to stay strong if Jeno couldn't.

"Please don't..."

That's all Jaemin said before stepping out from the car leaving Jeno to deal with his broken heart alone.

To say Jaemin was nervous, would be an understatement. He took a huge breath before stepping inside the cafe where he was to meet with the person destiny send to them. He knew Jeno was still there, watching his every move. He wanted to look back at his boyfriend, yell out loud that he was okay, everything was gonna be okay. But he couldn't, not when everything fell apart the moment there was another person in their relationship. So without looking back he marched inside, looking for the honey haired male who promised to meet with Jaemin here.

But before Jaemin could find the other male, latter found him. Jaemin felt air leaving his lungs when someone jumped onto him, hugging Jaemin with all his might while sniffing softly. Jaemin's surprised face softened when he noticed the honey hair of the other male. With a soft smile on his face Jaemin hugged the boy back tightly, whispering a series of "it's okay" & "I'm here". The other boy only cried harder making a few heads in the cafe turn toward them. But Jaemin didn't stop whispering sweet words to the crying boy in his arms. Because he knew, this wasn't easy for the honey haired boy too. He knew the boy was guilty for breaking a fairy tale relationship of Jaemin & Jeno, but Jaemin wanted the boy to know it was never his fault.

None of them was at fault when the destiny had written their fate like this. & He made sure to tell the crying boy all these.

"It's okay Hyuck... No matter what... Just know you deserve this..."

Unknown to the pair, Jeno followed Jaemin inside the cafe. He couldn't just sit there watching Jaemin walk away from him. Jeno felt his heart bleed, watching the other two hugging eachother, one crying his heart out, while the other trying hard to stay strong. 

& For the first time Jeno realized he lost. He lost the game he started playing against destiny. He thought he'd won when Jaemin said yes to him years ago. Hr thought destiny would leave him alone, leave Jaemin alone.

But here he was, watching the love of his love in someone else's arms. Crying.

A tear escaped Jeno's eyes as Jaemin's eyes made contact with his. Jaemin's own tears were now flowing as they kept looking eachother, without saying anything.

Their eyes were like mirrors of eachother's pains. They could see eachother's sorrows in their eyes. Many things were unspoken, unacknowledged. But deep inside their heart they knew it all. They didn't need to confirm it verbally.

They had made their decision, they had made their choice....to follow the path that destiny had made for them.  
  
  


**11 of the night**

Jaemin came back to his & Jeno's shared apartment that night, he didn't expect to see Jeno inside their bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, head hanging low, hands grabbing the hairs on the side of his head in a defeated manner.

Jaemin felt a shudder run through his body when Jeno looked up at him, eyes red & puffy from the crying he had done the whole day. Jaemin felt his own eyes tearing up, all the pain he had been trying to hide for past one month was painfully crawling back to the surface.

"Why....?" A small sob left Jaemin's lips, as he stared at thr older who was now standing a few feet away from him.

"I told you not to wait for me Jen! Go away! Please!" Jaemin's voice raised all of a sudden, tears staining his perfect happy mask that he had been wearing the whole day. He stumbled back on the concrete wall behind him as his energy kept slipping away from him.

"Why Jen...why are you making it hard for me...? I don't want to hurt anymore Jen... please"

If it was possible to break Jeno's heart more, it would have broken more hearing Jaemin's pained whispers. But there was nothing he could do now. He couldn't control what was happening, what he was feeling. He needed to be honest & fair to both Donghyuck & Jaemin.

Jeno slowly dragged himself to the crying boy, the boy whom Jeno once loved with everything, without whom he thought he wouldn't be able to live.

The irony... Now both of them were gonna live without eachother. & While Jeno was going to be happy, Jaemin was gonna drown in pain.  
  


Jeno himself was crying silently as he stood in front of his lover. Jeno took in Jaemin's feature like this was the last time he was going to see the younger. Jeno once again felt how beautiful Na Jaemin was, inside & out. Na Jaemin, his Jaemin, his Nana was the prettiest to his eyes. When did it change? When did this happened to them? When did Jeno fell out of love?

Jeno just remembered that one day he woke up filling empty inside, even though Jaemin was in his arms, sleeping peacefully. He remembered how a cursive writing with a name was sitting inside his left wrist, glaring at him, screaming that the person in his arms was not the one who it should have been. He remembered being scared, he thought he had defeated the destiny. He thought he wrote his own fate with Jaemin in it. But he was wrong when he met Donghyuck the very same day, & as if someone casted a spell they fell in love, they felt their heart beating crazily as their fingers touched while picking up the fallen book. Suddenly the emptiness in Jeno's heart was filled with the person named Donghyuck.

Jeno had found his soulmate.

  
But he didn't wanna accept this. He didn't know how to accept that he was gonna lose Jaemin, his best friend, his boyfriend, the boy who Jeno promised to love till his death. He didn't know how to unlove Jaemin, he didn't know how to let Donghyuck in.

But destiny did it for him. As he kept trying to block Donghyuck from his life, Donghyuck loved him more & more. As he tried to teach himself to love Jaemin again, he failed miserablely. His love for Jaemin suddenly got stuck in the best friend zone. He suddenly started feeling anxious whenever Jaemin would kiss him in the morning after he would force out "love you". He unintentionally started to avoid having skinship with Jaemin. & Only hoped & prayed like crazy to make everything go back the way it was before. But then again, destiny was cruel. So there was no way out for him.

It didn't take long for him to find out about the new student Haechan who was surprisingly Jaemin's cousin who had been in US since middle school & apparently his real name was Lee Donghyuck. He tried to avoid Donghyuck's eyes when Jaemin had introduced them, when Jaemin would kiss him in front of Donghyuck. Everytime he would look at his soulmate, Jeno could feel his heart aching in a way that was too similar to the feeling he had, whenever he used to see Jaemin upset.

Jeno was torn not knowing what to do...  
Knowing he was in love with his soulmate,who he only knew for a month. He felt torn because he couldn't even think about leaving Jaemin, who was his best friend, his boyfriend, his dream, his future once. But he knew, lying to Jaemin, stopping himself from loving his soulmate would never end up good for the three of them.

So Jeno broke down. He told Jaemin everything. Every single bit of the feelings he had toward Donghyuck, how he tried to love Jaemin more than a best friend all of a sudden, how he failed, how he couldn't make a choice between them.

So, Jaemin helped him. Jaemin made the choice. He asked Jeno for break up. But Jeno was selfish. He knew... He knew well that if he let go of the hands he had been having holding for past 6years, he would never be able to hold it again, he was gonna loose Jaemin forever; as his lover, as his best friend. He knew Jaemin would only be a memory. So he cried, begged Jaemin to help him to teach loving Jaemin again. 

Jeno kissed Jaemin, until he felt the other stop protesting in his arms. But then a face came to his mind. A face with a smile that could rival the sun itself. A face that told him many times that he would wait for Jeno all his life. A face that wasn't Jaemin's.

So he stopped, he cried untill he couldn't stand anymore by himself. He cried, he apologized to Jaemin, holding the younger boy close to him until he fell asleep. & Jaemin held the crying boy, who was his best friend before they were boyfriends. Who silently cried, knowing it was over. His wait was over. Jaemin now needed to move on. He needed to guide Jeno to move on & accept the love that Destiny gave him.  
  


Jaemin fixed a meeting with Donghyuck that night before he slept on Jeno's hold one last time. The morning came, Jeno once again greeted him with love you, but this time Jaemin could feel it, the "love you" wasn't said in a romantic way. It was just Jeno's confession of the only way he could offer Jaemin his love: friends. So Jaemin did the same what he used to do when they were friends. Ignored Jeno's greeting.

Jaemin didn't know why Jeno offered him a ride to the cafe where Donghyuck was waiting for him. Jeno shouldn't do this for him anymore, but Jaemin couldn't help but to accept the offer, knowing every second he spent with Jeno was counted as their last. Even though his reason for letting Jeno drive him to the cafe was totally for a selfish reason, he thought he made the right choice when he saw Jeno watching Donghyuck cry in Jaemin's embrace. Jaemin saw it clearly in Jeno's teary eyes, how the elder boy's heart was hurting watching Donghyuck cry because of him. Jaemin saw Jeno finally reaching his final decision at that moment.

Jaemin knew, he had lost the game against destiny. A game he knew he'd lose from the beginning. But he was happy. Happy because Jeno had found the love he deserved. He believed destiny never played with their heart, & only chose the best for them.  
  
  


Jeno's both hand cupped Jaemin's tear stained face as his own tears kept slipping through his eyes. They didn't know what to say to eachother at this moment. But knew well that both were unhappy, for two different reasons.

"I'm sorry..."

Finally Jeno broke the silence with an apology that only made Jaemin cry harder. It just made Jaemin feel whatever happening was real. Too real for him to handle. Jaemin sobbed... sobbed like a child while Jeno kept wiping his tears with his thumbs.

Jeno slowly leaned in & pressed a long soft kiss on Jaemin's temple. A kiss of letting go. A kiss of goodbye.

With that Jeno hastily walked out from their shared apartment with a luggage filled with his belongings. He could hear Jaemin's loud wails as he left the boy alone in that room. But he didn't stop, he didn't look back. He didn't want to give Jaemin false hope, he didn't want to break Jaemin more than he already had.

The sky was grey. A shade of grey that only reminded Jeno of Jaemin's cries, his sacrifices. Jaemin had always been a kind soul. Thinking of others happiness instead of his. Jeno swore if Jaemin asked him to stay, jeno would've stayed. He would've left everything for Jaemin even though he now only loved the younger as a friend. But Jaemin let him go. Jaemin let him love his soulmate, even if it meant Jaemin would be alone. 

From the beginning till now, Jaemin had always been selfless & kind.

Too kind for his own good.

Jeno wiped the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. With a silent prayer for his best friend, his Jaemin to get the love he deserved, Jeno walked away, to find his new home. To his Donghyuck.

The news spread fast. The whole university found out they weren't together anymore. They found out Jeno had found his soulmate & it actually was visible how happy the new couple was together. It of course made some people happy & more trusting to the destiny's soulmate system, while some were bitter thinking Jaemin didn't deserved it.

Many had noticed how Jaemin's smile was gone, how Jeno's worried eyes followed his ex boyfriend whenever they were near. They also noticed how guilty Donghyuck looked when Jaemin slowly backed away from everything where Jeno & Donghyuck were involved.

People started pitying Jaemin. Why? Because he didn't have a soulmate. He didn't get a name when he was with Jeno. Many would try to console him saying Jeno didn't had one too, but got it later. But it only made Jaemin bitter.

Bitter because Jaemin had a soulmate. He had Jeno's name marked on his inner wrist since the day he met Jeno for the first time. But Jeno didn't had one. At first Jaemin thought it was okay. Jeno didn't need Jaemin's name on his wrist to be loved by jaemin or to love jaemin back. So he hid it with layers of concealers, body paints, fake tattoos. He tried to make it look like they were both the same, knowing someday Jeno would find someone else, who wasn't Jaemin & Jaemin wasn't gonna find anyone because destiny already marked him for a person who wasn't his to begin with.

He loved Jeno first, yet he wasn't the one for Jeno. He was now alone, in his lonely world. Knowing he'd forever be alone, he decided to live it for his own. With that decision being made, just the day after their graduation Jaemin disappeared.

Donghyuck almost went crazy looking for Jaemin after graduation. But Jeno stopped him after a while. Jaemin needed a break from them, from all the pity he was getting.

Jaemin needed to love himself now that Jeno's love was gone.  
  
  


**Years later:**

  
Jaemin felt a smile blooming on his face as he saw a familiar figure in front of the starbucks near his new apartment area.

A person he had remembered till now. A person who had taught him what love was, whata heart break was. & After spending 4years away from the older, Jaemin was now finally able to smile at their memory & accept the fate without crying for his soulmate.

Lee Jeno, was standing there wearing a business suit & a cup of coffee on his hand. By the look of it, it seemed like it was almost finished & jeno would drive away any moment. So Jaemin walked fast & just stood behind the older trying hard to control his excitement.

Jeno felt a light tap on his shoulder. Confused who it was he looked over his shoulder before fully turned back. & As soon as he saw the person infront of him, jeno stood frozen on his place. He suddenly felt everything around them move slowly, the noise of the busy street just faded in his loud heartbeats.

"Jen? Are you listening?!"

Jaemin's voice brought him back to the present. Jaemin still looked the same.

Pretty.  
Prettiest in Jeno's eyes.

"God I missed you so much! Where's my hug dumbass?!" Jaemin pouted before pulling Jeno in a bone crushing hug. Still unbelieving, Jeno hesitantly hugged the younger boy back. & Once he felt the warmth of younger's body heating up his own body Jeno let out a sigh of relief.

Relief that he wasn't hallucinating. His Jaemin was really here, back to him.

"I missed you too Nana... God... I-" Jeno was having a hard time talking to which Jaemin only laughed.

Oh. How much Jeno missed this; having jaemin in his arms, laughing freely.

A sudden burn in his hand caught Jeno off guard at that moment. He brought up his hand only to get the shock of his life.

While Jeno's left wrist carried Donghyuck's name, there was suddenly another name came out on his right wrist just now.

& Finally Jeno understood, he hadn't actually lost to destiny.

Maybe it was late, but he had actually won. Because Jaemin's name was glowing bright on Jeno's wrist.

Now Jeno wondered..

Was the love really gone? Even for a second?

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone's confused, the soulmates would get their soulmate mark or their other halves names on their wrist the day they meet for the first time.
> 
> Jaemin got his soulmate mark when he first met jeno in highschool, but jeno didn't get one. Meaning Jaemin was a glitch that time. Which destiny changed after years of causing him pain of losing his soulmate to another.
> 
> & Yes it is the end. You can think of it as a good end or a bad end as either Jaemin would accept Jeno's love again, or jeno would choose Donghyuck.
> 
> If you wanna talk to me then.....
> 
> [Nabo’s here!](https://curiouscat.me/yrrosoban)


End file.
